Daily Joke: Jokes Library

As a group of frogs was traveling through the woods, two of them fell into a deep pit.

When the other frogs crowded around the pit and saw how deep it was, they told the two frogs that there was no hope left for them.

However, the two frogs decided to ignore what the others were saying and they proceeded to try and jump out of the pit.

Despite their efforts, the group of frogs at the top of the pit were still saying that they should just give up.

That they would never make it out.

Eventually, one of the frogs took heed to what the others were saying and he gave up, falling down to his death.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out.

When he got out, the other frogs said,

“Did you not hear us?”

The frog explained to them that he was deaf.

He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

Moral of the story:
People’s words can have a big effect on others’ lives. Think about what you say before it comes out of your mouth.

The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy.

The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.

“Ever have an accident?”

“Nope, nary a one.”

“None? You’ve never had any accidents.”

“Nope. Ain’t had one. Never.”

“Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn’t you consider that an accident?”

“Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose.”

It was their first quarrel.

Johnny was coming off worst until he brought his bride’s family into the argument.

“Your father is an old drunkard,” he stated with venom.

“Your mother is a nagger, and your brother is an idle Iayabout”

“Can’t you say one decent thing about my family?” she asked, sarcastically.

Johnny replied: “Yes, just one! They were all opposed to our marriage.”

At a wedding ceremony the priest asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn’t go on, it was time to stand up and speak, or forever hold his or her peace.

The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a baby.

She started slowly walking toward the pastor.

Everything quickly turned to chaos.

The bride slapped the groom and stormed out of the church.

The groom’s mother fainted.

The groomsmen and brides maids ran away in all directions.

The priest asked the woman,

“Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?”

The woman replied,

“I can’t hear anything from the back….so am moving to the front seats.”

The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought.

“How could you do this!” he exclaimed.

“I don’t know,” she wailed.

“I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, ‘Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.’ “

“Well,” the pastor persisted,

“You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, ‘Get behind me, Satan!’ “

“I did,” replied his wife,

“but then he said ‘It looks great from back here, too!’