05/24/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18427
An old man notices that his wife is having trouble hearing.
He tries telling her to go for a hearing test, but she won’t hear of it.
He decides to prove to her there’s something wrong with her hearing.
He goes upstairs, takes out a recorder, turns it on and, knowing she is in the kitchen, yells downstairs,
“Honey, what’s for supper?”
No answer. He goes downstairs and yells
“Honey, what’s for supper?” Still no answer.
He enters the living room and yells again
“Honey, what’s for supper?” No answer.
He even stands right outside the kitchen and yells
“What’s for supper?” and still, no answer.
Finally, he stands right behind her and asks
“Honey. What’s. For. Supper?!” and she turns around and says
“Damnit Al, for the hundredth time, CHICKEN!!!”
05/23/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18423
A six-year-old boy was standing with his father in front of the polar bear enclosure at the zoo.
The father was telling the boy how dangerous polar bears were and that, of all the animals in the zoo, they were the ones that the keepers feared most.
Eventually, the boy said:
“Dad, what if the polar bear escapes and eats you up…?”
Yes, son?”
“Which bus do I catch home?”
05/22/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18420
A boy decides to learn the language of all animals.
– Dad, there is a school where you can learn the language of animals. Please, give me money to go there and study.
Fathers agree and give him money
After a year, the son returns home and the father decides to test his skills
-Son, did you learn the language?
-Yes father. Do you hear the cow mooing? She says that she is about to give you 10 litres of milk.
-That’s impossible, this cow can give no more than a litre.
Dad milked the cow and it actually gave him 10 litres of milk
Dad’s super confused but decided that it was a coincidence
-Do you hear that hen? She says that she is about to lay 5 eggs now
-That’s impossible, that hen has never laid any eggs before.
Dad still goes there and checks for the eggs and there actually are 5 eggs laid
Dad is confused but starts to believe his son
The second day son sees a donkey running away from his dad and hee-hawing.
Dad trying to pull up his trousers and chase the donkey and screaming to his son:
– Don’t trust this donkey, she’s lying, don’t believe it son.
05/21/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18417
An old man and a 20 year old are paired together at a golf tournament.
They’re playing a long par 5 that dog legs around some tall trees.
As the 20 year old sets up his tee shot to hit onto the fairway the old man notes
“when I was your age we used to hit over the trees – not around to the side.”
So the 20 year old readjusts and tries to hit over the trees – but can’t clear them and loses his ball. He tries again and loses that one too…
Then the old man says
“of course, when I was your age, the trees were only 6 foot tall.”
05/20/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18413
A couple were in a busy shopping centre just before Christmas.
The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and they both had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile.
The wife said…
” Where are you, you know we have lots to do.”
He said…
“You remember the jewellery store we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day
I would get it for you?”
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up…
“Yes, I do remember that shop,” she replied.
“Well… I am in the gun shop next door to that.”