Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A man and his wife are driving down the road when they hit a baby skunk.

“It’s still alive!” The wife exclaimed, looking back at the poor skunk.

“Alright, I’ll just go back and hit it again, put it out of its misery,” the husband replied.

“No don’t, it’s just a baby! We have to call the vet!”

The husband waits patiently while the wife gets out to talk to the vet.

“Is it bleeding?” The vet asked.

“No, but it’s shaking a lot.”

“That means it’s going into shock,” the vet concluded,

“Cover him up and bring him in as soon as you can.”

“But sir it’s 80 degrees out I don’t have a jacket or anything to cover him with,” the wife explained.

“Ok, just put him between your legs to keep him stable for the ride over.” The vet replied calmly

“What about the smell?” The wife asked.

“The smell? Just cover his nose!”

A couple was having quarrel in a lodge and the man calls the manager and says,

“I’m having an argument with my wife, and now she wants to jump out the window.”

“please come fast”

Manager: “I am sorry sir this is your personal issue,please solve it by yourself.”

Husband: “The window is not opening, this is not a personal issue this is a maintenance issue.

With all the new technology regarding fertility,

An 88-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently:

When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, various relatives came to visit.

“May we see the new baby?” One of them asked.

“Not yet.” Said the mother.

“I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.”

Another half-hour passed before another relative asked.

“May we see the new baby now?”

“No, not yet.” Said the mother.

A while later and again the guests asked.

“May we see the baby now?”

“No, not yet.” Replied the mother.

Growing impatient, they asked.

“Well, when can we see the baby?”

“When it cries.” She told them.

“When it cries?” They gasped.

“Why do we have to wait until it cries?”

“Because I forgot where I put it.”

Once a software engineer saw a bull pulling a cart and the farmer was sleeping peacefully in that cart.

He was very surprised to see this scene and without stopping he said to the farmer,

“If the bull stopped, you wouldn’t understand.”

Farmer: Understand sir, if the bull stops walking, the bell will not ring.

The engineer thought for a minute and said ……..

“But what if this bull stopped in one place and just kept moving his neck?

The farmer quietly replied: Our bull …………………doesn’t work in the corporate sector, sir! ”

This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said,

“In my house, I am the boss.

I say when the laundry is done and when the cooking is made.

And when the dishes are washed.”

One of the guys at the table said,

“How long have you been married?”

The man says, “Oh I’m not married I’m single!”