Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Having been playing outside with his friends, a small boy came into the house and asked: “Grandma, what is it called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?”

His grandma was surprised to hear such a forthright question from a six-year-old but decided to answer as honestly as she could. “Well,” she said hesitantly, “it’s called sexual intercourse.”

“Oh, okay,” said the boy and he ran outside to carry on playing with his friends.

A few minutes later, he came back in and said angrily: “Grandma, it isn’t called sexual intercourse. It’s called bunk beds. And Jimmy’s mom would like a word with you!”

yo mama so fat when she stood on the corner the police rode by they yelled out ok y,all break it up here.

Two old ladies were discussing their husbands. One said: “I do wish George would stop biting his nails. It’s such a horrible habit.”

Her friend said: “My Arnold used to do the same. But I eventually cured him of it.”

“How did you do that?”

“I hid his teeth!”

An old man was asleep in his chair one afternoon when he was awoken by the sound of the doorbell. He shuffled to the door and when he opened it, he saw a beautiful young womanstanding there.

“Oh dear!” she said. “I’m at the wrong house.”

“Sweetheart, you’re at the right house,” the old guy assured her, “but you’re about 40 years too late!”

A Navy officer was walking through the crew’s quarters of his ship one day and chanced upon a sailor reading a magazine with his feet up on a table.

“Sailor!” the officer boomed. “Do you put your feet up on the furniture at home?”

“No, sir,” replied the sailor, “but we don’t land airplanes on the roof either!”