Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A bank robber walked over to one of his hostages and said:

“Did you see my face?”

“Yes,” said the hostage.

And then the robber shot him dead.

Then he turned to the next man and asked: “Did you see my face?”

“No,” he said “But i think my wife did.” 

A girl was given a tea set for her second birthday. It became one of he favorite toys, and when her mother went away for a few weeks to care for her sick aunt, the toddler loved to take her father a little cup of tea, which was just water really, while he was engrossed watching the news on TV.

He sipped each “cup of tea” he was brought and lavished generous praise on the taste, leaving the little girl immensely proud.

Eventually the mother returned home and the father couldn’t wait to show her how his little princess had been looking after him. On cue, the girl took him his “cup of tea” and he sipped it before praising it to the heavens.

The mother watched him drink it and said: “Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?”

A frustrated father told his work colleague: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But in my son’s room he has a color TV, computer, game console, cell phone, and cd player.”

“So what do you do?”

The father replied: “I send him to my room!”

When his son asked for a lift in his car just to get to the end of their road, his father told him: “You should be ashamed.” When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he used to walk ten miles every day to get to school.”

“Really?” said the boy. “Well, when he was your age, he was president!”

With his wife out for the evening, a father was trying to watch TV, but his young son kept coming in and asking for a glass of water.

After the seventh glass, the father lost his temper and yelled: “Go to sleep, I’m watching TV.”

“But Dad,” he protested, “my room is still on fire!”