Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.”

“I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.”

“The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.”

“Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”

A psychiatrist congratulated his patient on making such good progress.

“You call this progress?” snapped the patient. “Six months ago, I was Abraham Lincoln. Now I’m nobody!”

One day a woman was eating some potato chips and one dropped into her cleavage so she had an idea to rename the chip a poTITo chip.

One day a woman was eating some potato chips and one dropped into  her cleavage so she had an idea to rename the chip a poTITo chip.

On the way home from a party, a wife said to her middle aged husband: “Have I ever told you how sexy and irresistible to women you are?”

“I don’t believe you have dear,” he replied flattered.

“Then what the hell gave you that idea at the party?”