Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Yo Mama So Ugly Bob The Builder Said We Can”t Fix That

A group of boy scouts from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce that the boys had to hide under the blanket to avoid being bitten.

Then one of the boys saw some fireflies and said to his friend: “We might as well give up. They’re coming after us with flashlights.”

A drunk staggered down to hotel reception and demanded a change of room. He was so insistent that the receptionist was forced to call the manager.

“What seems to be the problem?” asked the manager.

“I want another room,” said the drunk.

“But I see you’re in room 341. That’s one of the best rooms in the hotel.”

“I don’t care. I want another room.”

“Very well sir. If you’re adamant, we can move you from 341 to 362. But would you mind telling me what you don’t like about your room?”

“Well,” said the drunk, “for one thing, it’s on fire.”

When a patient regained conciousness after an operation, the surgeon told her: “I’m really sorry, but I’m affraid we’re going to have to open you up again. You see, unfortunately I left my rubber gloves inside you.”

The patient said: “Well, if that’s all it is, I’d prefer you to leave me alone and I’ll buy you a new pair.”

A man was visiting a friend in the hospital. He had recently quit smoking and was chewing on an unlit cigar when he stepped into the elevator. But a woman who was already in the elevator told him firmly: “Sir, there is no smoking in this hospital!”

“I’m not smoking, lady,” replied the man.

“But you have a cigar in your mouth!”

“Yes, and I’m wearing jockey shorts, but I’m not riding a horse!”