Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A general surgeon makes more money then a neurosurgeon

After tucking their three-year-old son in bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking helped. His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from his ear. the little boy was delighted.

In a flash, he snatched it from his father’s hand, swallowed it, then cheerfully demanded, “Do it again, Dad!”

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also blonde. The blonde cop asked to see her driver’s license.

She dug throught her handbag and was getting progressively more agitated. “What does it look like?” she finally asked. The policewoman replied, “It’s square and it has your picture on it.”

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. “Here it is,” she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop.”

A blonde was sitting on the train reading the newspaper. “The headline shouted, “12 Brazillian Soldiers Killed.” She shook her head at the sad news, then she turned to the stranger sitting next to her and asked, “How many is a Brazillian?”

A farmer walks up to an outhouse and finds a man fishing around in the hole with a long stick. The farmer asks what the man is doing and the man replies, “I dropped my jacket down there and I;m trying to get it back.” The farmer says, “Are you crazy? Are you really gonna wear the jacket after it’s been down there?” The Man says, “Oh, no way!  But there’s a sandwich in one of the pockets.”