Daily Joke: Jokes Library

To the irritation of the judge, a man was trying to be excused from jury duty. “Tell me,” rapped the judge, “is there any good reason why you cannot serve as a juror in the trial?”

The man replied: “I don’t want to be away from my job that long.”

“Can’t they do without you at work?” demanded the judge.

“Yes,” admitted the juror. “But I don’t want them to realize it.”

A man was forced to take a day off work to appear in court on a minor charge. After waiting all day for his case to be heard, he was finally called before the judge late in the afternoon. But no sooner had the defendant stood in the dock than the judge announced that the court would be adjourneduntil the following day.

“This is an outrage!” shouted the defendant.

Tired at the end of a long day, the judge rapped back: “Twenty dollars, contempt of court!”

Then noticing the defendant checking his wallet, the judge softened and said: “It’s all right. You don’t have to pay now.”

“I wasn’t going to,” replied the defendant. “I was just seeing if I have enough money for two more words!”

What model car do sick animals drive in? A Vet

What model car do sick animals drive in? A Vet

A couple’s house was plagued by an invasion of flies in hot weather. After a husband went around with a fly swatter, his wife asked him whether he managed to fill any.

“Yes,” he said. “Four males and two females.”

“How can you tell?” she asked.

“Four were on a beer can and two were on the phone.”