Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Why was the tomato blushing? Becuase it saw the slad dressing

This is a little story about four people named
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and
Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job.
Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when
Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

After delivering a speech at an elementary school, the president lets the kids ask a few questions. One little boy, Joe raises his hand and asks, “How come you invaded Iraq without the support of the United Nations?”

Just as the president begins to answer, the recess bell rings and he says they’ll continue afterward. 25 minutes later the kids come back to class.

“Where were we?” says the president. “Oh, yes… do you kids have any questions?”

Another boy raises his hand and says, “I have three questions: First, why did you invade Iraq without support from the U.N.? Second, why did the recess bell go off 30 minutes early? And third, where is my buddy Joe?”

how can you tell .when a woman its pregnant by a black man????       A._ when she pull out her tampon and the cotton its gone

Three American blondes were lost in Vietnam(during the war),they had no water no food for days.
While walking they met Aladdin Genie,and he says:”I’ll give each one of you two wishes”

The 1st. says:”I want u to bring me one “diet cola” and to send me back to my family cuz I miss them soooo much and so she was back to the states happily.

The 2nd says “I want u to send me back to my boy friend and to give me 50$ so I can buy him a present and so she was back to the states kissing her man cheerfully.

The 3rd was like heeeeeey you think you’re smart ha. trying to send my friends away from me so I’ll be all alone, bring them back right now.