Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Once upon a time there was this guy who bought a hang glider and took it  out to the mountains to fly it. He was cruising along a few hundred feet  above the treetops when he spots these two hunters down below. He hollers and waves at them, trying to be sociable. Suddenly the hunters  look up and they both fire their double barrel shotguns at him. When the hang glider was out of sight one of the hunters turns to the  other and says “What kinda bird you reckon that was?” The other hunter replies “I don’t rightly know, but I think we hit it. “How’s that?” “You saw how fast he dropped that man he was caring, didn’t ya?

What do you get when you mix a blonde and a donkey? A dumb blonde!!

On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. “Would it be right,” he asked, “for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?” “Absolutely not!” replied the pastor. “In that case,” said the young man, “I wonder if you’d consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July.”

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fight. “I am the most beautiful person in the world,” proclaimed Sleeping Beauty.

“No, you’re not,” answered Don Juan and Tom Thumb.

“I am the smallest person in the world,” shouted Tom Thumb.

“No, you’re not,” said Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan.

“I’ve had more lovers than any person in the world,” announced Don Juan.

“No, you haven’t” replied Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.

Well, they decided that if the three were to get along, they needed a mediator, and decided that Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, would be ideal. Merlin agreed and summoned them all to his palace, where he announced he would meet with them one at a time.

Sleeping Beauty went in first and not a minute later came out beaming “I am the most beautiful person in the world, Merlin said so.”

In went Tom Thumb and out he came as quickly as had Sleeping Beauty: “I am the smallest person in the world, Merlin agrees.”

In goes Don Juan and in he stays, a half hour, an hour, an hour and a half later. Finally, he emerges distraught, muttering, “Who the hell is Bill Clinton?”

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