Daily Joke: Jokes Library

I overheard a friend telling his pal, “I can’t break my wife of the  habit of staying up until 5 in the morning.”

“What is she doing?”, the pal asks.

“Waiting for me to get home.”

A drunk staggered into a cemetery and fell into a freshly dug grave. Pretty soon a second drunk staggered by. “Get me out of here”, said the one in the grave, “I’m cold”. The other one looked over the edge and said, “No wonder you’re cold, you poor guy. You don’t have any dirt on you”.

How is a woman like a tornado?  They twist and turn when the come and take the house and car when they leave.

How are Pizza and sex the same? No Matter how bad it is your still happy you got a piece

How are sex and oxygen the same? You don’t care about either one until you’re not getting any.