07/23/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16222
A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her 3rd-grade class.
The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”.
The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.
The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.
Principal: What is 3+3?
Boy: 6.
Principal: 6+6.
Boy: 12.
The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Grade 4 immediately.
The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.
Madam: What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?
Boy: Legs.
Madam: What is in your trousers that I don’t have?
Boy: Pockets.
Madam: What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut.
Madam: What goes in hard & then comes out soft & sticky?
The principal’s eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge
Boy: Bubble gum.
Madam: You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent.
The principal was looking restless.
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.
Boy: A wedding ring.
Madam: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good?
Boy: Nose.
Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow.
Principal: OH MY GOD.
Madam: What starts with ‘F’ and ends with a ‘K’ and if you don’t get it, you have to use your hand?
Boy: Fork.
Madam: What is it that all men have, it’s longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?
Boy: Surname.
Principal: Ohooo!
Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?
Boy: Heart.
Principal: Eeeeeh!
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, “Send this bloody boy to the university. I myself got all the answers wrong!”
07/22/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16219
Father shark teaches the son shark how to eat human
“Look boy when you target a swimming human go close with your fin out of the water. Take a few laps around the target then you can eat. Does it make sense?”
“Yes, father. Thank you.” the son replayed.
“Now go find your lunch” said the father.
The guy went in one direction and came back after some time.
“Did you find someone?” father.
“Yes dad.”
“Did you do what I said?”
“Yes, I found a human and ate him?”
“Did you show your fin and do a few laps around the target?”
“No. I just ate him”
“Oh boy. You ate the shit with that human.”
07/21/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16216
A 70-year-Old Retired Military officer had one Hobby….. He loved to Fish.
He was sitting in His Boat the other Day when He heard
A voice says, ‘Pick Me Up.’
He looked around and couldn’t see Anyone.
He thought He was Dreaming
When He heard the Voice say again,
”Pick me up. ‘
He looked in the Water and There…Floating on the top, was a Frog.
The Retd Officer said,
‘Are You talking to Me?’
The Frog said,
‘Yes, I’m talking to You.
Pick Me up, then Kiss Me; and I’ll turn into the Most Beautiful Woman you have ever seen. I’ll make sure that all Your friends will be envious and jealous because I will be Your Bride!’
The Retired Off looked at the Frog for a short time, and reached over…..Picked it up Carefully and…….Placed it in His Shirt Pocket.
The Frog said,
‘What, are you Nuts? Didn’t You hear what I Said?’ I said, ‘Kiss me, And I will be Your Beautiful Bride.’
He opened His Pocket, Looked at the Frog and said,
‘Nah. I’d Rather like have a Talking Frog Than a Nagging Wife..
With Age Comes Wisdom & Experience
07/20/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16214
Jack wakes up with a horrible hangover and a throbbing black eye.
The first thing he sees is a single rose on the side table and a note from his wife:
“Dear, breakfast is made. I’ve gone shopping to make you your favourite dinner tonight. I love you!”
He stumbles to the kitchen and, sure enough, there’s breakfast.
“Joe,” he says to his son,
“what happened last night?”
“You came home soused and got that black eye tripping over a chair.”
“So, why the rose, breakfast, and sweet note from your mother?”
“Oh, that. Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take off your clothes, you screamed,
‘Leave me alone, I’m married!’”
07/19/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16208
During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals.
The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.
At the start of the second half, the big animals had the ball.
In the first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain.
In The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain.
On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5-yard loss.
The defence huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly,
“Who stopped the elephant?”
“I did,” said the centipede.
“Who stopped the rhino?”
“Uh, that was me too,” said the centipede.
“And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5-yard loss?”
“Well, that was me as well,” said the centipede.
“So where were you during the first half?” demanded the coach.
“Well,” said the centipede,
“I was having my ankles taped.”