03/07/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16930
The Husband and wife had a blazing row!
The hubby stopped talking to his wife.
The wife said,
“I will count to 10. If you don’t start talking to me by then, I am going to my mother’s house!”
She started counting from 1 to 8 and stopped.
The impatient husband said,
“Why did you stop? Complete the count and go!”
The wife replied,
“See, you surrendered and started talking to me. Otherwise, I would have left! Now, I forgive you!”
03/06/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16928
On his Birthday, a man named Peter was really upset because none of his family members or near and dear ones wished him.
As he walked into his office, his secretary Anna said,
“Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!”
He felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered.
At lunchtime, Anna knocked on his door and said,
“You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.”
Peter happily agreed
They had their lunch but on the way back to the office, Anna said,
“You know, it’s such a beautiful day…We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?”
Peter replied “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?”
She said, “Let’s go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”
After arriving at her apartment, Anna said,
“Boss if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.”
“Ok.” He nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes;
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake…
Followed by his wife, his kids, and dozens of his friends, and co-workers, all singing
“Happy Birthday”.
And Peter just sat there…On the couch…
Naked!
03/05/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16926
A father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed.
His daughter wanted to say a prayer before sleeping, so the father listened.
“God bless mummy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, Goodbye grandpa”
The father asked,
“why did you say, goodbye grandpa?”
The little girl said,
“I don’t know, it just seemed like the right thing to say.”
The next morning, the family received news that the grandfather had indeed died.
The father thought that it was just a very lucky coincidence.
A few months later, he tucked her daughter into bed, and she said a prayer.
“God bless mummy, God bless daddy, goodbye grandma.”
And of course, the next day, the grandmother died.
The father realised that his daughter could predict the family deaths and that this was no coincidence.
A few weeks later, he tucked his daughter into bed, and her prayer went
“God bless mummy and goodbye Daddy.”
Her father went into shock.
He stood up all night waiting for the worse, and then sunrise came.
He decided to just stay at work the entire day to be safe.
He stayed at his office until midnight came.
When it did, nothing happened.
He breathed a sigh of relief.
When he came home, his wife asked why he was home so late.
“I had the worst day of my life.” Said the father.
“If you think your day was hard, you won’t believe what happened to me, my boss died in the middle of a meeting!”
03/04/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16924
While trying to avoid hitting a dog, I lost control of my two-wheeler and landed in a ditch by the side of the road.
With some difficulty, as I crawled out of the ditch, a beautiful woman who had stopped her car and came to help me asked
“Are you okay?”
“I’m okay I think,”
I replied as I pulled myself up.
She said, “Come, get in my car. I’ll take you to my place which is only a few blocks away. You can clean up, and then I will examine you to confirm that you are not hurt.”
“That’s nice of you,” I answered,
” but I don’t think my wife will like me doing that!”
“Oh, come on, I’m a nurse,” she insisted.
“We need to see if you have any scrapes and treat them properly.”
Well, she was really pretty and very kind. I could not say no, but repeated,
“I’m sure my wife won’t like this.”
We arrived at her place and after cleaning up, she examined me to confirm that I do not have any major injury and then offered a drink.
We had a couple of drinks, but all along I was feeling guilty and finally told her,
“I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I’d better go now.”
“Don’t be silly!” she said with a smile,
“Stay for a while. She won’t know anything. I suppose, she must be at home, right?”
“Well, not really. She must be still in the ditch.”
03/03/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16922
A married couple was walking through a garden, and suddenly a dog ran towards them.
They both knew it will bite them..
The husband lifted his wife to let the dog bite him rather than his sweetheart.
The dog stopped before them, unsure what to do, barked a little and ran away.
The husband put his wife down, expecting a hug and a few kind words of gratitude from her.
But his wife shouted,
“I’ve seen people throwing stones & sticks at dogs, this is the first time I see someone trying to throw his wife at a dog”
** Moral: No one else can misunderstand a Husband better, than a Wife.**