04/01/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16995
After she woke up, a woman told her husband,
“I just had a dream that you gave me the most beautiful diamond necklace. What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight.” he said with a smile.
The woman could hardly think of anything else all day and she couldn’t wait for her husband to return home.
That evening, the man finally came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it excitedly to find a book entitled…
“The Meaning of Dreams“
03/31/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16992
A fifteen-year-old boy johnny and his father were in a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again:
The boy asked,
“What is this Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded!
“Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.”
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially
They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order……
Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old girl stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son…
“Go get your Mother!”
03/30/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16990
Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter….
First Woman : “My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me.”
Second Woman : “I know…”
First Woman : “How?”
Second Woman : “My dog told me.”
03/29/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16988
An elderly couple returned to a Mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in, to a beautiful Lady.
“I thought you said you would hold that car until we raised the $75, 000 asking price,” said the man.
“Yet I just heard you close the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady over there. You insisted there could be no discounts on this model,”
“Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and just look at her. How could I resist?” replied the grinning salesman.
Just then the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys.
“There you go,” she said.
“I told you I could get this joker to drop the price.”
“See you later, grandpa.”
Goes to show….
Never mess with the elderly!
03/28/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16986
The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church.
One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing.
He knew about cock fights in the village,
so he questioned his parishioners in church.
During mass, he asked the congregation,
“Has anybody got a kok?” All the men stood up.
“No, no,” he said,
“that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen a kok?”
All the women stood up.
“No, no,” he said,
“that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen my kok?”
Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.