08/12/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17420
James retired from bank service as Senior Manager.
Got handsome retirement benefits.
He deposited around 5 Million in Mutual Funds and debt funds.
5 Million he kept in the SB account itself, as his pension was sufficient for him and his wife.
He included his wife’s name in his savings account and taught her online banking and the importance of OTP… He told her not to divulge OTP to anyone.
One evening James returned from a walk.
‘ I forgot to take my mobile…By the way, anything important?’ he asked.
Wife said ‘Someone phoned from the bank’
James froze.
‘Regarding OTP?’ He asked shockingly.
Wife said ‘You are smart. Of course, they wanted me to share the OTP as they wanted to convert our account from silver status to diamond status with more benefits
‘My God..did you get an OTP? Did you share it?’
‘Of course..when it is the bank people calling how can I refuse?’
James slumped on the sofa. He immediately took the mobile, and logged into his bank account, with a heart pounding like a jet motor, murmuring
“You idiot… 5 Million gone”.
But he was pleasantly surprised to see not only 5 Million was safe, but also the SB interest was added to it.
“Did you share the OTP correctly?” he asked the wife..
“Yes. But the bank people repeatedly said that it is not correct and asked me to re-check. I stood my ground.”
“What was the OTP?”
“It was 2404. Since it is a joint account, I ‘shared’ only my half of the OTP…. which is 1202”.
08/11/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17417
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted.
She told the artist,
“Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.”
“But you are not wearing any of those things,” replied the artist.
“I know,” she said.
“It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery.”
08/10/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17414
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
My name is Billy. What’s yours?”, asked the first boy. Tommy”, replied the second.
“My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a Iiving?”, asked Billy.
Tommy replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.”
“Honest?”, asked Billy.
“No, just the regular kind”, replied Tommy.
08/09/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17412
A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds.
The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn’t comfortable with that.
So the wife went on the ride by herself.
The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband’s feet.
”Are you hurt?” he asked.
”Of course I’m hurt!” she replied.
“Three times around and you didn’t wave once!”
08/08/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17410
An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theatre.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,
“Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”
The old man groaned but didn’t budge.
The usher became more impatient.
“Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.”
Once again, the old man just groaned.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.
Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success.
Finally they summoned the police.
The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked,
“All right buddy what’s your name?”
“Fred,” the old man moaned.
“Where ya from, Fred?” asked the police officer.
With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied,
“The balcony.”