10/19/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17636
A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten kids put his boots on.
He asked for help and she could see why.
With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn’t want to go on.
When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said,
“Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.”
She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off then it was putting them on.
She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on – this time on the right feet.
He then announced,
“These aren’t my boots.”
She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,
“Why didn’t you say so?” like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off.
He then said,
“They’re my brother’s boots. My Mom made me wear them.”
She didn’t know if she should laugh or cry.
She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
She said, “Now, where are your mittens?”
He said, “I stuffed them in the toes of my boots…”
10/18/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17633
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
The next week the man realised that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for a flight to Italy.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper,
“Please wake me tomorrow morning at 5:00 am”.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 am, and that he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
It read,
“It’s 5:00 am, wake up.”
10/17/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17630
A man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East.
An Arab approaches the husband, saying,
“I’ll give you 100 camels for your woman.”
After a long silence, the husband says,
“She’s not for sale.”
The indignant wife says,
“What took you so long to answer?”
The husband replied,
“I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home.
10/16/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17628
A man finds a wallet with $700 in it.
A few days later, he reads a notice stating that a wealthy man has lost his wallet and is offering a $50 reward to anyone who returns it:
He soon locates the owner and gives him the wallet and the rich man counts the money and says.
“I see you have already taken your reward.”
The poor old man responds.
“What are you talking about?”
The wealthy man continues.
“This wallet had $750 in it when I lost it.”
The two men begin arguing, and eventually, they go to court to sort out their differences.
Both men present their case, the poor man first, then the wealthy man who concludes by saying.
“Your Honor, I trust you believe me.”
The elderly Judge says. “Of course.” The rich man smiles and the old poor man is devastated.
Then the Judge takes the wallet out of the wealthy man’s hands and gives it to the poor old man who found it.
“What are you doing?” The rich man yells angrily.
The elderly Judge responds.
“You are, of course, an honest man and if you say that your missing wallet had $750 in it, I’m sure it did, but if the man who found this wallet is a liar and a thief, he wouldn’t have returned it at
all, which means that this wallet must belong to somebody else. If that man steps forward, he’ll get the money, otherwise, it stays with the man who found it.”
“What about my money?” The rich man asks.
“Well, we’ll just have to wait until somebody finds your wallet with the $750 in it.”
10/15/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17625
Wife sent a message to her husband :
Don’t forget to buy vegetables on your way back from office, and says hi to you .
Husband :Who is rita ?
Wife : Nothing, I was just making sure that you read my message or not
Twist in the tale…..
Husband :- But I’m with lisa , which lisa are you talking about ?
Wife :- where are you….?
Husband: near vegetable market😎
Wife :- wait I will come there …..
After 10 minutes she texts her husband “where are you”?
Husband:- “I m at office, now buy whatever vegetables you need..