Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Two donkeys were talking about their owners:

The first one said

“My owner is so harassing, he beats me often”

The second donkey:

“Why don’t you leave your owner?”

First donkey:

“I was thinking about it, but he has a very good-looking daughter, and whenever she does something mischievous, he says that he would get her married to some donkey, and I am

just waiting for that to happen.”

A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning.

After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him.

He looked up at his dad and asked:

“How do fish breath underwater?”

His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied,

“I really don’t know, son.”

The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked,

“How does our boat float on the water?”

Once again his dad replied, “Don’t know, son.”

Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks “Why is the sky blue?”

Again, his dad replied. “Don’t know, son.”

The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time

“Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?”

“Of course not son.” replied his dad,

“How else are you ever going to learn anything?”

A wealthy man walked into a bar in Miami.

As soon as he entered, he noticed an old woman, sitting in one corner.

He walked over to the counter, removed his wallet and shouted,

“Bartender! I’m buying drinks for everyone in this bar, except that woman over there!”

The bartender collected the money and began serving free drinks to everyone in the bar, except the old woman.

Instead of becoming upset, the woman simply looked up at the guy and shouted,

“Thank you!”

This infuriated the wealthy guy.

So once again, he took out his wallet and shouted,

“Waiter! This time I am buying bottles of wine and additional food for everyone in this bar, except for that African sitting in the corner over there!”

The bartender collected the money from the man and began serving free food and wine to everyone in the bar except the old woman.

When the waiter finished serving the food and drinks, the Old woman simply smiled at the man and said, Thank you!”

That made him furious.

So he leaned over the counter and asked the bartender,

“What is wrong with that woman? I have bought food and drinks for everyone in this bar except for her, and instead of becoming angry, she just sits there, smiles at me and shouts

‘Thank you.’ Is she mad”

The bartender smiled at the wealthy man and said,

“No, she is not mad. She is the OWNER of this Restaurant .”

Youngster pushes his wagon up a hill  when one of the back wheels falls off and rolls down the hill.

The young boy says: “I’ll be darned.”

A local pastor heard him and said:

You should not say that.

Next time your wheel falls off say:

‘Praise the Lord.’”

So the next day the young boy is pulling his wagon up the hill and the wheel falls off and rolls down the hill.

The young boy says:

“Praise the Lord.”

The wheel stops rolling, turns around, roIIs back up the hill and puts itself back on the wagon.

The young boy being very surprised by this exclaims:

“I’ll be darned!”

Ben went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law.

One evening, while still deep in the jungle, Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone.

Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

Ben picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her.

In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.

The wife said,

“What are we going to do?”

“Nothing,” said Ben,

“The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”