11/10/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17723
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said,
“If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said,
“If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero”
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said,
“If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.”
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out,
“If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.”
Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked,
“What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The man said,
“Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”
11/09/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17720
An elderly couple was having breakfast one fine morning.
when the wife ask her husband,
“Are you going to marry right after I die?”
What a depressing question? Here we are enjoying this beautiful morning and you bring up this grieving question.
That night, she asked that question again and for the following 3 days she keeps bopping that question and so he finally said
“yes, are you satisfied ? “
And she said, are you going to sell the house? he said, no!
Are you going to sell our bed? Why no !
are you going to let her have my golf clubs?
He said,
” No I don’t think so, she is left-handed”
11/08/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17706
At a jewellery store, an old man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend.
“Don’t you want her name engraved upon it?” asked the jeweller.
The Old man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatic steadfastly replied,
“No, just engrave it:
To My One And Only Love.
That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again.
11/07/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17703
Wife : Am I looking fat?
Husband : Yes
Wife : Shut up. Don’t you ever dare talk to me!!
Wife : Am I looking fat?
Husband : No
Wife : Liar
Wife : Am I looking fat?
Husband : Maybe
Wufe : can u ever b decisive
Wife : Am I looking fat?
Husband : I don’t know
Wife : Are you blind?
Wife : Am I looking fat?
Husband : Depends
Wife : Oh you comparing me with some one else..
Wife : Am I looking fat?
Husband : silence
Wife : Are you deaf?
There are some questions for which there is no correct answer.
For everything else there is Google .
11/06/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17699
An old man applies for a job as a woodcutter,
but the boss doesn’t think he’s fit enough.
He tells the boss he is able to cut down any tree in a single swing.
To prove this, he goes outside, hits a five-foot tree with his ax, and it falls over.
The boss is impressed.
The old man then repeats this with a ten-foot tree.
Then a thirty-foot tree. Finally, he takes his ax up to an 80-foot redwood, swings, and the giant tree comes tumbling down.
The boss is amazed and asks the man how he learned to do that.
The man says “I practiced in the Sahara forest.”
“Don’t you mean the Sahara desert?” The boss asks.
“Well yes,” says the old man, “that’s what they call it now.