Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A wise old man was sitting at the river bank.

He saw a cat that had fallen into the river struggling to save itself from drowning.

The man decided to save the cat.

He stretched out his hand towards the cat but the cat scratched him.

He pulled his hand back in pain.

However, a few minutes later he stretched out his hand again to save the cat, but it scratched him again, and again he pulled his hand back in pain.

A few minutes later he was again trying for the third time!

A man, who was nearby watching what was happening, yelled out,

“O wise man, you have not learned your lesson the first time, nor the second time, and now you are trying to save the cat a third time?”

The wise man paid no heed to that man’s scolding and kept on trying until he managed to save the cat.

He then walked over to the man and patted his shoulder saying:

“My son It is in the cat’s nature to scratch, and it is in my nature to love and have sympathy.

Why do you want me to let the cat’s nature overcome mine?

“My son, treat people according to your nature, not according to theirs, no matter what they are like and no matter how numerous their actions that harm you and

cause you pain sometimes. And do not pay heed to all the voices that loudly call out to you to leave behind your good qualities merely because the other party is

not deserving of your noble actions.

So never regret the moments you gave happiness to someone, even if that person did not deserve it.

Jesus treats us according to His nature, just think where we would be if He were to treat us as per our nature.

That is why He saves us in spite of ourselves.

A Football team was on the field during practice,

when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout.

“Are you crazy,” hollered the coach,

“we don’t give tryouts to turkeys.”

Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch.

“That was amazing,” exclaimed the coach.

“I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?”

“Don’t worry about money,” said the turkey,

“let me just ask you something, does the season go PAST Thanksgiving?”

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails.

A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.

The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face.

Then he replied “I don’t know, it all happened so fast.”

A farmer named Patrick lived alone in the Irish countryside with his pet dog:

The dog finally died, and Patrick went to the parish priest, saying.

“Father, my dog died. Could you possibly say Mass for the poor creature?”

Father Murphy told the farmer.

“No, we can’t have services for an animal in the church, but I’ll tell you what, there’s a new denomination down the road and no telling what they believe in, but maybe

they’ll do something for the animal.”

Patrick said.

“I’ll go right now. By the way, do you think €5,000 is enough to donate to the service?”

Father Murphy exclaimed.

“Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic?”

A vain lion wanted to find out why the other animals were not as beautiful as he.

First he asked a giraffe.

The giraffe did not know.

Next, the lion asked a bear.

The bear had no answer.

Then the lion asked a hippopotamus and again got no answer.

Finally, the lion met a mouse.

He asked the mouse,

“Tell me, why aren’t you as big, as strong, and as beautiful as I am?”

The mouse looked up at the lion and said,

“Well, I have been sick.”