Daily Joke: Jokes Library

One guy asked another: “Have you ever gone to bed with an ugly woman?”

His friend replied: “No, but I’ve woken up with plenty.”

A guy wandered over to a beautiful woman in a bar and started chatting her up. Not too far into the conversation he said: “Do you mind If I ask you a personal question?”

“That depends on how personal it is she replied”

“Okay,” he said tentatively. “How many men have you slept with?”

“No way I am going to tell you that!” she snapped. “That’s my business!”

“Oh, sorry,” he said. “I didn’t realize you made a living from it.”

WHAY HAPPEN’S IF YOU VOTE A PE PUBLICAN IN OFFICE, SUCH AS ROMNEY/the world will end at a much faster pace,he get’s richer and you get poorer

Ways to tell if a redneck has been working on a computer

10. The monitor is up on blocks.

9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.

8. The six front keys have rotted out.

7. The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them.

6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.

5. The password is “Bubba”.

4. The CPU has a gun rack mount.

3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.

2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

And, The Number One Way To Tell If A Redneck Has Been Working On A Computer…

The mouse is referred to as a “critter”.

John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain.

When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock. Smith, afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat.

“How did you like that jump, buddy?” said a proud John to a deck hand.

“It was great,” said the sailor. “But why didn’t you wait? We were just pulling in!”