Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A wealthy man and his wife are going to a function, so they decide to give the butler the night off. However, a couple of hours later the wife was bored, so she leaves the party and goes home,only to find the butler sitting alone at the table. She orders the butler upstairs to her bedroom, where she locks the door. “Jeeves,” she commands, “take off my hat.” Jeeves promptly obeys. “Now, Jeeves,” she says, “take off my dress.” He obeys. “Now, Jeeves, please remove my underwear.” Breaking into a nervous sweat, Jeeves complies. “Now Jeeves,” the wife says, “if I should ever catch you wearing my clothes again…”

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the others of trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived.

The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom, decreed, “I’ll hear the oldest one first.”

The case was dismissed for lack of evidence.

A general surgeon makes more money then a neurosurgeon

After tucking their three-year-old son in bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking helped. His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from his ear. the little boy was delighted.

In a flash, he snatched it from his father’s hand, swallowed it, then cheerfully demanded, “Do it again, Dad!”

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also blonde. The blonde cop asked to see her driver’s license.

She dug throught her handbag and was getting progressively more agitated. “What does it look like?” she finally asked. The policewoman replied, “It’s square and it has your picture on it.”

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. “Here it is,” she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop.”