Daily Joke: Jokes Library

While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students. “As you can see,” she said, “the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched.” The doctor asks, “Mr Jones, what would you do in a case like this?” “Well,” ponders the student, “I suppose I’d limp too.”

A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. When the priest tried to pay for the haircut, the barber refused, saying, “You do God’s work,” The next day the barber found a dozen Bibles at the door to his shop. A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused to accept money. “You protect the public,” he said. The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop. A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, “You serve justice.” The next morning, the barber found 12 lawyers standing in line waiting for haircuts.

A farmer and his brand new wife were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled. The farmer said, “That’s once.” A little farther down the road the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, “That’s twice.” A little while later the horse stumbled yet again. The farmer didn’t say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse. His brand-new wife yelled, telling him, “That was an awful thing to do.” The farmer responded, “That’s once.” 

A man bought several acres of wasteland and, within a year had turned it into a thriving produce farm. The local priest stopped by and complimented the man on his progress. Then he added, “Wonderous things can surely happen when man and God work together.” “Amen,” said the man, “but you should’ve seen the place when God was running it alone.”

grasshopper hops into a bar orders his drink bartender says hey!did you know they named a drink after you . grasshopper says really they have a drink named roger!