Daily Joke: Jokes Library

One day, a blonde was shopping for some shoes. As she picked up a nice pair, she saw the price… $100. She called over the store clerk and demanded that the store lower the price of shoes! The clerk rejected, and then added “if you don’t like our shoe price, then get alligator shoes somewhere else! The blonde left, furios! Later that day, as the store clerk was driving home, he passed by a swamp and saw the blonde there. He stopped his car and watched her. Amazingly, the blonde saw an alligator, shot it perfectly in the heart and dragged near 10 dead alligators. She turned this alligator over and screamed, “Dang it! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”

A muscular young man from Iowa is in California. He goes to Musclee Beach and tries to strut his stuff, but none of the girls notice. He goes up to the most popular guy and asks what is his secret. The guy says: “Tomorrow, put a potato in your trunks.” The next day all the girls take one look at him and yell ‘gross’, ‘awful’ and ‘hidious’. The confused guy at the end of the day asks the same fellow who told him to put a potato in his pants: “What happened?” The guy says: “Next time, put the potato in the front of your trunks.”

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.

The man, who was a priest, said, “I am a Father.”

The little boy replied, “My Daddy doesn’t wear his collar like that.”

The priest looked up from his book and said, “I am the Father of many.”

The boy said, “My Dad has four boys, four girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way.”

The priest, getting impatient, said “I am the Father of hundreds,” and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly… but on leaving the bus, he leaned over and said, “Well, maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar.”

“Double your pleasure,double your fun, marry two girls instead of one”!!!

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?” “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.” “That’s amazing,” the woman said. “How old are you?’ “Twenty-six!” he said.