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Daily Joke: Jokes Library

10/31/2012 from Daily Jokes
#8529

GOD is talking to Adam in the garden of eden,about the creation of a woman.

GOD; Adam how would you like to have a woman to live with you in the garden?

ADAM;What is a woman?

GOD;A creature like you but much prettier and she’ll cook for you,clean for you,keep you healthy, give you children,take care of you and never ever give any problems and please you in ways you could never ever imagine,But It will cost you…Alot

ADAM; How much?

GOD;An Arm and a Leg!

ADAM;taking a moment to think it through and after a long pause, he ask’s,GOD, WHAT CAN I GET FOR A RIB???

Funny +197
-135 Not Funny
10/30/2012 from Daily Jokes
#8528

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.” He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally the lawyer said, “Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.”

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.

“But how?” inquired the lawyer. “You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door.”
The jury foreman replied: “Oh, we did look, but your client didn’t.”

Funny +394
-67 Not Funny
10/29/2012 from Daily Jokes
#8527

A woman asks her friend for advice on how to get her hubby interested again. Friend says, “Tonight meet him as he comes home dressed in saran wrap.” Woman does this and husband says “Damn, leftovers again.”

Funny +290
-90 Not Funny
10/28/2012 from Elsa
#8526

Like the mediator always says:

I don’t get paid enough because I’m always in the middle of something.

Funny +46
-190 Not Funny
10/28/2012 from breck mcmullan
#8525

hickory dickory dock a slut was sucking a cock her hair got tangled the bitch got strangled but atleast she swallowed the shot hickory dickory dock

Funny +0
-11 Not Funny
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