Daily Joke: Jokes Library

You know how to make a hormone don’t pay her

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a trolley bed by a lady in a white dress and brought to the corridor. Before they enter the room she leaves her behind the theatre door to go in and check whether everything is ready.

A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes the sheet away and starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over and does the same examinations.

When the third man starts examining her body so closely, she grows impatient and says: “All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start th operation?”

The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: “I have no idea. We’re just painting the corridor.”

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. ‘So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?’

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, ‘Ehhhh .. 22!’

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. ‘And can you tell us your height,  please?’

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, ‘Five foot two!’

This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. ‘And uhh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?’

The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, ‘Mandy!’

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, ‘Just out of curiosity, Miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?’

‘Ohh that!’, replies the blonde, ‘That’s just me running through ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you….” 

Question: a turtle without a shell is it homeless or naked?

Two mountain bred GIs were wandering the streets of Calcutta when an old  woman walked by. “Hey, Billy Joe,” one said, “I think that’s Mother  Teresa.” “Your nuts.” “I’m telling you.” They approached the woman and one asked, “Are you Mother Teresa?” The old  lady eyed them scornfully. “Piss off, you damn perverts,” she hissed,  striding off. “Jeez,” Billy Joe said, watching her disappear into the  crowd, “now we’ll never know.”