Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake.
“I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says.
He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby.
“I can’t leave,” the doctor says. “But here’s what to do: take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison, and spit it on the ground.”
The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony.
“What did the doctor say?” the victim asks.
“He says you’re gonna die.”

Do your homework !she said no little girl who you talk cause you going to get a beat Down

It was Christmas time and this woman invited all her family to her house to eat. So they gathered around the table and she asked her son to pray. He said: “But I do not know what to say.” She said: “Say what I said this morning.” So he said: “Dear god, why did I invite all these people to my house?”

This black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bartender says,”Hey,that’s pretty cool,where did you get that?”and the parrot says,”In Africa,there’s millions of ’em!”

A couple of blonde hunters are out in the woods when one of them suddenly falls down. She doesn’t seem to be breathing, her eyes are rolled up. The other blonde whips out her cell phone and dials 911. She gasps to the operator, “I think my friend is dead! What shall I do?” The operator says in a calm soothing voice, “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure she’s dead.”

There is silence, then a shot is heard… The blonde says, “OK, now what?”