Daily Joke: Jokes Library

There were three little boys visiting their grandparents.

The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, “Can you make a sound  like a frog, Grandpappy?  Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds, “No, I don’t really  want to make the sound of a frog now.”

So, the second little boy comes out and asks his grandfather, “Will you please make a sound like a frog?”  Grandpa again says, “No, not now.  I don’t really want to do that.   I’m in a grumpy mood.  Maybe later.”

Then the third little boy comes out and says, “Grandpa, oh please…  Please, please will you make a sound like a frog?”

“Why do all of you boys want me to make a sound like a frog?” Grandpa  asked.

The little boy replied with a hopeful face, “Well, Mom said that when you croak we get to go to Disney World!”

why did the chicken cross the road to get to the farm

A man is driving down the freeway when he sees a sign that says; “Get gas and free sex here”. So obviously the guy was interested, so he stopped, filled up went inside to pay. “Pick a number from 1 – 10 to get free sex.” said the cashier. “Uh, okay, 3!” the man replied. “Nope! Sorry play again”. So the guy drove around for weeks always getting gas at the same place, because he wanted his free sex. One day he was really ticked: “This has got to be rigged! I have never gotten the number to have free sex!” He screamed. “Oh no! It’s not rigged, just ask your wife, she won 3 times last week alone!”

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, “I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.” Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn’t get her anything. She says, “Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?” He replies, “You didn’t use what I got you last year!”

The doctor looked benignly at the woman who had come to him for an  examination. “Mrs. Brown,” he said, “I have some good news for you.” The woman said, “I’m glad of that doctor, but I’m Miss Brown,” “Miss Brown,” said the doctor without changing expression, “I have bad  news for you.”