Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist.  “I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.”  Psychiatrist: “Don’t you have a phone in your car?”  Blonde: “That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.”  Psychiatrist: “Uh … How’s that working?”  Blonde: “Actually, I haven’t gotten any letters yet.”  Psychiatrist: “And why do you think that is?”  Blonde: “I figure it’s because when I’m driving around, my zip code keeps changing.”

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, “Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.” “Well,” the doctor replied, “go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn’t reply move about 5 feet close and say it again. Keep doing this so that we’ll get an idea about the severity of her deafness”.

Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping some vegetables and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” He hears no response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

She replies, “For the fourth time, vegetable stew!”

What did the bird say when he flew over K MART?  Answer – Cheap cheap cheap…lol

There were three little boys visiting their grandparents.

The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, “Can you make a sound  like a frog, Grandpappy?  Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds, “No, I don’t really  want to make the sound of a frog now.”

So, the second little boy comes out and asks his grandfather, “Will you please make a sound like a frog?”  Grandpa again says, “No, not now.  I don’t really want to do that.   I’m in a grumpy mood.  Maybe later.”

Then the third little boy comes out and says, “Grandpa, oh please…  Please, please will you make a sound like a frog?”

“Why do all of you boys want me to make a sound like a frog?” Grandpa  asked.

The little boy replied with a hopeful face, “Well, Mom said that when you croak we get to go to Disney World!”

why did the chicken cross the road to get to the farm