Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.

One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral
procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.”

Alitalia: Airplane Landed In Tokyo And Luggage In Atlanta

American: Airline Meals Eaten Regularly Induces Cramps and Nausea

Delta: Don’t Ever Leave The Airport

El Al: Every Landing Always Late

Olympic: Onassis Likes Your Money Paid In Cash

Sabena: Such A Bad Experience – Never Again

TWA: That Was Awful

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender.

Brunette: “I’ll have a B and C.”

Bartender:”What is a B and C?”.

Brunette: “Bourbon and Coke.”

Redhead: “And, I’ll have a G and T.”

Bartender: “What’s a G and T?”

Redhead: “Gin and tonic.”

Blonde: “I’ll have a 15.”

Bartender: “What’s a 15?”

Blonde: “7 and 7”

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.

The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted,”Order! Order!”

The drunkard immediately responded, “Thank you, your honour, I’ll have a scotch and soda.”

“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up,” said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

“Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” inquired the teacher with a sneer.

“Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”