Daily Joke: Jokes Library

One day a man went to a pet store and bought a hundred-legged worm. The sales person told him about this worm. It was not a normal worm. This worm could do anything as a maid.

When they were home, the man asked the worm to turn on the T.V. So the worm turned it on. Then he asked him to prepare him some coffee. So the worm did it. The man told him to go buy the newspaper. So the worm went out of the house to buy the newspaper.

An hour passed and still the worm didn’t come. Another hour passed and the worm had still not come back. So finally the man stood up and opened the front door.

“So, there you are,” the man said looking at the worm, “have you bought the newspaper?”

“Sorry, sir,” answered the worm, “I haven’t finished putting on my shoes.”

A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane…… The lady said to him “Can you help me remove something from my breast please?”

‘The exciting young man replied, “Wow! It will be my pleasure……. So what is it?”

“Your Eyes, idiot!”

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs “give me your money,” he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man replied, “you can’t do this – I am a United States congressman!”

“In that case,” replied the mugger, “give me MY money.”

Mother asks little Johnny, as they wait for the bus, to tell the driver he is 4 years old when asked because he will ride for free.

As they get into the bus the driver asks Johnny how old he was. “I am 4 years old”.

“And when will you be six years old?” asks the driver.

“When I get off the bus” answers Johnny.

Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: “Change your course 10 degree east.”

The light signals back: “Change yours, 10 degrees west.”

Angry, the captain sends: “I’m a navy captain! Change your course, sir!”

“I’m a seaman, second class,” comes the reply. “Change your course, sir.”

Now the captain is furious. “I’m a battleship! I’m not changing course!”

There is one last reply. “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”