Daily Joke: Jokes Library

The mother loved the picture frame her five-year-old son bought her for Mother’s Day.

She found a photograph of him and replaced the cat photo that came with it.

The son then became upset. “Why are you putting a picture of me in there? I bought you the picture of the cat!”

“Mom, you said the baby had your eyes and Daddy’s nose, didn’t you?”

“Yes, darling.”

“Well, you’d better keep an eye on him… he’s got grandpa’s teeth now.

A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said, “Let’s hide in that barn, they’ll never find us.” So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down.

The next morning, the cops said, “Come out with your hands in the air!” The red-head said, “Hide in those baskets, they’ll never find us!” So the Brunette got in the first one, the red-head got in the second one and the blonde got in the third one.

Meanwhile, the cops were getting a ladder set up and trying to get up there.

Once they got up, the seargent ordered them to kick the baskets. So the cop kicked the first one: “RUFF.” “It’s just a damn dog!” yelled the cop. The cop kicked the next one: “MEOW.” “It’s just a damn cat,” yelled the cop. The cop kicked the next basket and the blonde yelled, “POTATOES!”

Mama bear, papa bear, and baby bear were having a great time chasing vacationers in a car as they were visiting Yellowstone National Park.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, Baby Bear?”

“I think we could be doing a better job of scaring these vacationers.”

“But Baby Bear,” Mama Bear injected. “What more can we do?”

“Maybe we’d have more of an effect on them if we got out of this car and started chasing them on all fours!”

Owner of a aircraft manufacturing company stopped by the aircraft testing airfield to check on the newest test pilot.

He asked the supervisor how the new guy was doing. “Terrible! He has already crashed four planes this week!”

Owner replied, “How is this possible? Where did he work before coming here?”

Supervisor said, “He designed Windows software for Microsoft.”