Daily Joke: Jokes Library

One day, three unemployed factory workers heard that a large food company was enlarging and needed more staff.

So they went downtown to see if they could get themselves a job.

After filling out their applications, each one was interviewed and each one managed to get hired.

As they were waiting to be assigned their new duties, a foreman came by and spoke to the hiring boss.

The foreman told the boss that he didn’t think it was such a good idea as one of the workers had snapped for no apparent reason at his last job.

Also, a second was said to have had cracked up after severe mental stress.

The third, he believed was their father who he felt was a bit odd but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

The hiring boss reassured the foreman and said that they would start on something easy and after a week, the company would re-assess them to see if they would be kept on.

The foreman reluctantly agreed and asked the boss where he thought they should start.

The boss replied, “Why not take them and put them in our Cereal Division – Snap, Crackle, and Pop should work out fine down there.”

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

“Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,” he cackled.

“I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now.”

The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.

He replied, “Well, you see my wife and I have married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge.

“Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk.”

A college student wrote a letter home:

Dear folks,

I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money.

I feel ashamed and unhappy.

I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels.

I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.

Your son,

Marvin

P.S. I felt so terrible I ran after the mailman who picked this up at the box at the corner.

I wanted to take this letter and burn it.

I prayed to God that I could get it back, but I was too late.

A few days later, he received a letter from his father:

Dear Son, Good news! Your prayers were answered. Your letter never came!

About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest: “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic.”

“Well,” answered the priest, “that’s not a sin.”‘

“But I made him agree to pay me 200 Euros for every week he stayed.”

“I admit that wasn’t good, but you did it for a good cause.”

“Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind.” He paused for a moment and then said, “I have one more question…”

“What is that, my son?”

“Do I have to tell him the war is over?”

There was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying.

But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her.

One time she was sitting next to a man.

When he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing.

After a while, he turned to her and asked: “You don’t really believe all that stuff in there do you?”

The lady replied “Of course I do. It is the Bible.”

He said “Well what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?

She replied “Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible.”

He asked, “Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?”

The lady said “Well I don’t really know. I guess when I get to heaven I will ask him.”

“What if he isn’t in heaven?” the man asked sarcastically.

“Then you can ask him.” replied the lady.