04/22/2019 from Daily Jokes
#12653
A Californian winery managed to create a new type of wine by crossing Pinot Blanc with Pinot Grigot.
As a side effect, it reduces the number of times people need to get up to pee during the night.
It is being marketed in retirement homes around the world as Pinot More!
04/21/2019 from Daily Jokes
#12648
These 10 Easter jokes are perfect for sharing with friends and family over a cup of tea and a plate of hot cross buns. Just be sure to swallow before the punchline.
Q. What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. A Hot Cross bunny.
Q. What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat?
A. Thistle have to do!
Q. How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been?
A. Eggs (X) marks the spot!
Q. How do you catch the Easter Bunny?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a carrot!
Q. Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road?
A. To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Q. Why can’t a rabbit’s nose be 12 inches long?
A. Because then it would be a foot!
Q. What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A. A receding hareline.
Q. What day does an egg hate the most?
A. Fry-days.
Q. Waitress, what’s this hare doing in my soup?
A. Looks like back stroke.
Q. How do bunnies stay healthy?
A. Eggsercise
04/20/2019 from Daily Jokes
#12644
A senior citizen was chatting with his 80-year-old buddy.
“So I hear you’re getting married?”
“Yep!”
“Do I know her?”
“Nope!”
“This woman, is she good looking?”
“Not really.”
“Is she a good cook?”
“Nah, she can’t cook too well.”
“Does she have lots of money?”
“Nope! Poor as a church mouse.”
“Well, then, is she good in bed?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why in the world do you want to marry her then?”
“Because she can still drive!”
04/19/2019 from Daily Jokes
#12641
Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. They even have their own vocabulary:
BFF: Best Friend Fainted
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered by Medicare
FWB: Friend with Beta-blockers
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
04/18/2019 from Daily Jokes
#12638
Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days afterward, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”
Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc – ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”’
The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur – be careful.'”