12/06/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16672
An elderly man went to a doctor with multiple complaints.
“I see spots before my eyes,” he said.
“It’s due to old age,” said the doctor.
“No food agrees with me,” said the man.
“That too is due to old age,” said the doctor.
“The digestive system becomes weaker as we grow older.”
“My back is giving me trouble,” persisted the man.
“Sometimes the pain becomes unbearable.”
“Old age,” said the doctor.
This was too much for the man.
“Why do you go on saying ‘old age, old age,” he screamed.
“If you cannot cure me, say so. I’ll go elsewhere.”
“See how easily you lost your temper,” said the doctor.
“That is another characteristic of old age.”
At last, the old man slaps him, and the doctor asks,
“Why did you slap me?”
The old man said
“This is also due to old age, you see”
12/05/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16668
A professor travels to Africa to live with a primitive tribe:
He spends years with them, teaching them all about the wonders of science, mathematics, and formatting Reddit comments so they get the most upvotes.
One day, the Chief’s wife gives birth to a white child!
The word spreads, and the entire tribe is in shock.
The chief pulls the professor aside and says.
“Look, you’re the only white man we’ve ever seen around here, and this woman just gave birth to a white child. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened!”
The professor replied.
“No, Chief. You’re mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion.”
The chief was silent for a moment, then said.
“Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about that sheep and I won’t say anything more about that white child.”
12/04/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16665
Grandpa Joe was being taken by his grandchildren to his new nursing home.
They took him in on his wheelchair.
A young nurse met them.
“Welcome to our nursing home Let me show you around”
She said in a friendly tone as she took the wheelchair.
She wheeled him into a large room full of sofas, with a big TV screen.
“This is the lounge. You can relax and-“
Grandpa Joe suddenly slumped to one side.
The dutiful nurse quickly caught hold of him and gently sat him up.
Then she wheeled him to a room with tables and chairs, where some elderly residents were enjoying lunch.
“This is the dining room. The food is really -“
Again, Grandpa Joe suddenly slumped to one side. Unfazed, the nurse caught hold of him and sat him up.
Finally, she wheeled him over to a small room with a comfortable-looking bed.
“This is where you’ll be sleeping. There is an en-suite bath-“
Again, Grandpa Joe suddenly slumped over to one side.
The nurse patiently caught hold of him and once again sat him up.
After the tour, the grandchildren rushed over to Joe.
“What do you think? Isn’t it lovely? That nurse seems sweet?”
Grandpa Joe looked grumpy.
“Well the place seems alright and the staff are nice. But why the hell won’t they let me fart in peace?”
12/03/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16663
A third-grade teacher always took roll call each morning and had the pupils answer by reciting a short poem.
The first kid sat in the first row was a teacher’s pet. He stood and said,
“My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can.”
The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating,
“My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby…if I can, and I think I can.”
The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room.
He stood up and said,
“My name is Johnny, and I don’t give a damm about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think can”
12/02/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16659
The wife served breakfast to the Husband.
Along with that, she gave me a tablet also and said:
” Take this *Paracetamol* after breakfast.”
Husband: ” Why? I don’t have a fever.”
Wife : “OK, then take this *Digene* “
Husband : “Come on ! I don’t have even gastric trouble.”
Wife : ” Ok, take at least *Pudeen Hara* You will have an immediate relief.”
Husband : “My dear, my stomach is perfectly OK.”
Wife : Oh, but you must take at least *Combiflame* Any pain in your hands or legs will disappear in no time.”
Husband : ” Are you crazy ? Why so much of care and concern for me all of a sudden ? Thanx darling, but I am totally fit, fresh and energetic.”
Wife : ” Ve….ry good ! Now take this broom and clean up the cobwebs from all the rooms and then clean up the loft also. “