10/21/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16534
Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work.
The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their love lives. After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing.
The following week they met up again to compare notes.
Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, ‘Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend’s office wearing a leather coat.
When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels.
He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!’
The engaged woman giggled and said, ‘That’s pretty much my story! When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps.
He was so turned on that we not only had s*x all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!’
The married woman put her glass down and said, ‘I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma’s.
I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos.
I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, – ‘Hey Batman what’s for dinner?
10/20/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16532
An elderly man Daniel fancied himself quite a ladies man,
So when his cruise ship went down in a storm and he found himself stranded on a desert island with six women,he couldn’t believe his good fortune.
They quickly agreed that each woman would have one night a week with the only man.
Daniel threw himself into the arrangement with gusto, working even on his day off, but as the weeks stretched into months, he found himself looking forward to that day of rest more and more eagerly.
One afternoon he was sitting on the beach and wishing for some more men to share his duties when he caught sight of a man waving from a life raft that was bobbing on the waves.
Daniel swam out, pulled the raft to shore, and did a little jig of happiness.
“You can’t believe how happy I am to see you,” he cried.
The new fellow eyed him up and down and cooed,
“You’re a sight for sore eyes, too, you gorgeous thing!”
“Crap,” sighed Daniel, “there go my Sundays.”
10/19/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16529
A boss says to his secretary
“we are travelling abroad for the week so make arrangements” .
The secretary makes call to her husband
“my boss and i will be travelling abroad for some reasons”.
The secretary husband makes call to her secret lover
“my wife is travelling for the weekend so come to my house so that we can be together”.
The secret lover makes call to the child she’s teaching lesson
“i will not be at home this week so don’t come for lesson” .
The child makes call to his grandpa
“grandpa, my lesson teacher is not arround so i’ll use the weekend with you”
Then grandpa makes call to his secretary
“my grandson is coming to use his weekend with me so we are not travelling again” .
The secretary makes call to her husband
” my boss said his grandson is coming to use weekend with him, so our trip is cancelled.”
The husband makes a call to secret lover,
“We cannot spend the week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.”
The secret lover makes a call to little boy,
“We will still have classes as usual this week.”
The little boy makes a call to his grandfather,
“Grandpa! I’m sorry we won’t be able to spend the week together. My teacher called and said that I have to attend classes.”
The grandpa makes a call to his secretary,
“Change of plans! My grandson is no more coming. So we are still travelling this week. Make arrangements.”
10/18/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16526
A woman went to a lawyer to discuss divorcing her husband.
“Don’t you love him anymore,” asked the lawyer?
“Oh, I still love him,” the woman replied.
“But, all he ever wants is s**, I can’t take it.”
“Instead of divorcing him why don’t you try charging him every time he wants to make love?” the lawyer suggested.
The exhausted wife decided to give the plan a try.
As soon as she walked into the house that night her husband started in on her.
“Not so fast,” she replied.
“From now on it’ll be $10 in the kitchen, $20 in the living room and $50 in the bedroom.”
“Well, then,” he said.
“Here’s $50.”
The wife began walking to the bedroom.
“Hold on,” he said, grabbing her hand.
“That’ll be five times in the kitchen!”
10/17/2022 from Daily Jokes
#16523
An old man turned 115 and was being interviewed by a reporter for the local paper.
During the interview, the reporter noticed that the yard was full of children of all ages playing together.
A very pretty girl of about 19 served the old man and the reporter, keeping them in fresh tea and running errands for them.
“Are these your grandkids?” the reporter asked.
“Naw, sir, they all be my younguns,” the old man replied with a sly grin.
“Your kids?” said the reporter.
“What about this beautiful young lady who keeps bringing us tea? Is she one of your children too?”
“Naw, sir,” said the old man. “She be my wife.”
“Your wife?” said the surprised reporter. “But she can’t be more than 19 years old.”
“Thass right,” said the old man with pride.
“Well, surely you can’t have a s*x life with you being 115 and she being only 19,” the reporter remarked.
“Naw, sir, ” said the old man. “We have s*x every night. Every night two of my boys helps me on it, and every morning six of my boys helps me off.”
“Wait just one minute,” said the newspaperman. “Why does it only take two of your boys to put you on, but it takes six of them to take you off?”
“Cause,” the spry old man said with a balled fist, “I fights ’em.”