02/20/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16893
A wife asked her husband to drop her off at a friend’s house, where a wedding reception was taking place.
He responded that he would be too busy throughout the day in the office, and gave her some money to take a taxi.
He left for the office.
The wife took a Taxi to the wedding reception, there she met a fine Girl and they got talking to each other.
Soon they became friends.
In the evening when everyone was leaving, the Girl asked the Woman how she was going home.
She replied that her husband was too busy in the office to pick her up so she would use a taxi.
The Girl responded;
“My boyfriend brought me here and would be coming to pick me up. I just spoke to him on the phone and he’s on his way. Why don’t you join me in his car and we would drop you at your house”
The woman agreed.
A few minutes later, her husband’s car arrived.
The Girl jumped into the front passengers seat of the car and asked the Woman to sit at the backseat, which she did confused and perturbed.
Then the Girl introduced her new friend to her boyfriend.
When the man turned around to greet the woman, he recognized her as his wife.
Nothing much was said along the way.
He dropped the wife at home first as planned and proceeded to drop the Girl at her house.
The question now is: If you were the wife, what would you do when your husband returns home?
If you were the husband, what would you say to your wife when you return home.
What would you do if you are the wife?
02/19/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16891
A farmer named Patrick lived alone in the Irish countryside with his pet dog:
The dog finally died, and Patrick went to the parish priest, saying.
“Father, my dog died. Could you possibly say Mass for the poor creature?”
Father Murphy told the farmer.
“No, we can’t have services for an animal in the church, but I’ll tell you what, there’s a new denomination down the road and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they’ll do something for the animal.”
Patrick said.
“I’ll go right now. By the way, do you think €5,000 is enough to donate to the service?”
Father Murphy exclaimed.
“Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic?”
02/18/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16889
A salesman is talking to an old farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders:
He says. “What on earth is that all about?”
The old farmer says.
“We had a fire in the chicken coop two months ago and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm.”
“Okay, but that was two months ago. Why does he still wear them?”
The old farmer replied.
“There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other!”
02/17/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16886
An old italian couple is walking around in the mall.
After a while they get separated so the woman goes up to the first saleswoman she sees and ask:
“Escusa me, have you seen-a my-a Tony. He’s got a big-a belly and a-lotsa of curly black hair?”
The saleswoman answers that she hasn’t seen her husband.
So the Italian woman goes to aks another saleswoman:
“Escusa me, have you seen-a me Tony. He’s got a big-a belly and a-lotsa of curly black hair?”
“No, I’m sorry ma’am, I haven’t seen your husband.”
The Italian woman goes to see one more saleswoman and ask:
“Escusa me, have you seen-a me Tony. He’s got a big-a belly and a-lotsa of curly black hair?”
The saleswoman answers:
“Yes I saw him, he ran out of here lickety split.”
To which the Italian woman answers:
“No no no, that’s not-a my Tony, he pinch-a the bum, grab-a the bre@sts but he no lickety split!”
02/16/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16883
“I bet you don’t know what day this is”, said the wife to her husband as he made his way out the front door.
The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker: “Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!’?”
With that, he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work.
At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long-stemmed red roses.
At 1 PM, a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favourite chocolates arrived.
Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn’t wait for her husband to come home.
The husband was smug when he returned from work, satisfied that he had recovered from what could have been a very bad situation.
His wife was indeed surprised: “First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!”
she exclaimed, “I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!”