Daily Joke: Jokes Library

One day farmer joe was watering his farm a chicken came along and said

“How are you farmer joe”

The farmer said “im very good, do you want to help me water my farm”

A cow came along and said “how are you farmer joe” farmer joe said “im good, can you help me water my farm”

The cow agreed and helped farmer joe and the chicken.

On the third day farmer joe, the chicken and the cow were watering the farm.

A pig came along and said “how are you farmer joe” farmer joe said “im very happy, will you help me water my farm?”

The pig said “sure” and help farmer joe and the chicken and the cow to water the farm on the fourth day farmer joe, the chicken, the cow and the pig were watering the farm.

A horse came along and said “how are you farmer joe” farmer joe said “im great , but can you help me water my farm”

The horse agreed and helped them all water their farm on the fifth day farmer joe, the chicken, the cow the pig, and the horse were watering the farm.

A dog came along and said “how are you farmer joe” farmer joe said “im great , but can you help me water my farm”

The dog agreed and helped them all water their farm

On the sixth day the chicken, the cow, the pig the horse and the dog were watering their farm.

“Oh no” said joe i have run out of water.

“We must go to the store” said the chicken, the cow, the pig the horse and the dog.

They were walking to the store and stopped at the road to look left right then left again but the chicken didnt look; he just crossed.

“why did the chicken cross the road?!” farmer joe exclaimed.

“to get to the other side” replied the chicken.

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,

Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, “It’s essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”

He addressed the man, “Can you describe your wife’s favorite flower?”

Tom leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered,

“You bake with Home pride, don’t you?”

The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I’ll stop right here.

An old man bought a well from a smart aleck.

The next day while on his way to the market he met the smart aleck who told him,

“I have sold the well to you but not the water. If you use the water you will have to pay for it.”

The old man stared at him for a moment.

Then he replied, “I was in fact planning to come to your place and ask you to empty the water. If you don’t, you will have to pay the rent for storing it in my well.”

Sometimes, being too smart doesn’t pay!

As a group of frogs was travelling through the woods, two of them fell into a deep pit.

When the other frogs crowded around the pit and saw how deep it was, they told the two frogs that there was no hope left for them.

However, the two frogs decided to ignore what the others were saying and they proceeded to try and jump out of the pit.

Despite their efforts, the group of frogs at the top of the pit were still saying that they should just give up.

That they would never make it out.

Eventually, one of the frogs took heed to what the others were saying and he gave up, falling down to his death.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out.

When he got out, the other frogs said,

“Did you not hear us?”

The frog explained to them that he was deaf.

He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

Moral of the story:
People’s words can have a big effect on others’ lives. Think about what you say before it comes out of your mouth.

Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where the conversation turned to the subject of marriage.

Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.

Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged,

So he should use his savings to buy a computer instead.

During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring.

Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted:

“Well, don’t you have something to ask me?”

Dave then got down on bended knee.

“Honey,” he said,

“Will you buy me a new computer?”