10/21/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17643
One day, two young brothers in Rome, aged 12 and 14, came home with a 20 and 50 euro note.
Their mother asked them where they got all that money from.
“Well, we were standing outside the brothel when a guy left,” said the 12-year-old.
“We told him that we knew where he had been, so he asked us not to reveal anything and gave us 20 euros.”
“Then we followed the man,” said the other boy,
“and when he came to his house we told him that now we also knew where he lived. Then he gave us another 50 euros and begged us to keep quiet.”
“That’s a truly awful behaviour,” the mother replied.
“You really should be ashamed of yourselves and feel sorry for the man. Off you go to confession in the church.”
The boys did what they were told and went to the Church, to confess and atone before the priest.
After a while they came back with 100 euros, because now they also knew where the man worked!
10/20/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17639
One day at the garage, the new hire heard that the old master mechanic knew every acronym for every make and model so he decided to put him to the test.
“Do you really know what every car brand name stands for?”
“Yup.”
“Ford?”
“That’s easy. It’s ‘Fix Or Repair Daily.’”
“Kia?”
“Kills In Accidents.”
“Fiat?”
“Fix it Again, Tony.”
“Okay, smart guy, I’ve heard all those before. How about Ferrari?”
The old man paused and said with a grin, “Sugar, Honey, Iced Tea.”
“How do you know it means that?” the youngster asked.
“It’s what every Ferrari owner says when handed the repair bill.” the old man answered.
10/19/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17636
A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten kids put his boots on.
He asked for help and she could see why.
With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn’t want to go on.
When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said,
“Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.”
She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off then it was putting them on.
She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on – this time on the right feet.
He then announced,
“These aren’t my boots.”
She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,
“Why didn’t you say so?” like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off.
He then said,
“They’re my brother’s boots. My Mom made me wear them.”
She didn’t know if she should laugh or cry.
She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
She said, “Now, where are your mittens?”
He said, “I stuffed them in the toes of my boots…”
10/18/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17633
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
The next week the man realised that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for a flight to Italy.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper,
“Please wake me tomorrow morning at 5:00 am”.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 am, and that he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
It read,
“It’s 5:00 am, wake up.”
10/17/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17630
A man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East.
An Arab approaches the husband, saying,
“I’ll give you 100 camels for your woman.”
After a long silence, the husband says,
“She’s not for sale.”
The indignant wife says,
“What took you so long to answer?”
The husband replied,
“I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home.