Daily Joke: Jokes Library

In their small village, a couple was famous for the husband being 102 years old and his wife being 98 years old, and both in terrific condition, working their farm every day and

having the bodies of much younger people.

One day, a visitor to the village, curious about the couple, approached the old man at his farm.

The old man was cutting wood without a shirt on, sweat glistening on a body that seemed to belong to a man half his age.

The visitor introduced himself and asked the old man:

“I hear you are 102!”

“That’s correct.” said the old man with a smile.

“Wow, I must say, you look in amazing shape!”

“Thank you.” Said the old man humbly.

“Do you mind if I ask-“

“-How am I this healthy at my age?” finished the old man.

“Help me carry this wood back home and I’ll tell you.”

The visitor agrees and they make their way inside.

“You see,” said the old man,

“I’ve been married for 75 years. Now, when we got married, I made a little arrangement with the wife. Every time we have an argument, the loser of said argument must run for

5 kilometers.

Seeing as we have a pretty typical marriage, I’ve been running 5 kilometers almost every day for 75 years! That’s why I’m in the great shape I am.”

“But if that’s the case,” said the puzzled visitor,

“how come your wife is in such great shape too?”

“Well,” smiled the old man,

“she usually runs after me to make sure I finish the whole five.”

Little Johnny’s preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station.

The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class:

“Does anyone know what this is?”

Little Johnny’s hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.

Little Johnny replied:

“That’s how Mommy knows supper is ready!”

A very wise mother bought her young son a pet hamster for his birthday.

He had lots of fun with it and then one day it died.

He asked if he could bury it in the front garden, she said yes, but first suggested they make a “jam” from it, which they did. About two weeks later a

Sunflower started growing over the grave so he quickly ran and told his mom to come and have a look.

She replied

“What did you expect?”

“Tulips from hamster jam?”

A grandfather is hanging out with his grandson.

He says to his grandson,

“Hey Johnny, please fetch me the cup of medicine and the cup of soda over there.”

Grandson says,

“Sure, gramps, but why the soda?”

Grandpa says, “I mix ’em together so that the medicine doesn’t taste so nasty.”

Johnny says, “Oh, good idea”, and starts to pour the cup of medicine into the cup of soda for him. Grandpa says,

“No, no, no. Another way around. You pour the cup of soda into the medicine, not the medicine into the soda.”

Johnny says, “Okay, but what difference does it make?”

Grandpa, a little irate, says,

“What difference does it make??? Well, rather than ruining my wonderful soda with that nasty medicine, I’m making my nasty medicine taste better with that

After 150 days off flooding,

Noah released all the animals from his ark and commanded then to go forth and multiply.

After some time, he saw that the flocks and herds were regaining their numbers,

but he came across a pair of snakes who had laid no eggs, and were just laying about.

“Why have you not multiplied?” he asked.

To which the snakes responded,

“we can’t, we’re adders.”

Noah being a quick thinker went off into the woods to fell some trees, and fastened them together into a platform.

He then placed the snakes on the platform and lo and behold the snakes immediately laid a clutch of eggs

Because you see, even adders can multiply on a log table