Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.” The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it starts.” She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.” The wife is furious. She yells at him “Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore …” The man sighs and says, “It’s started …”

A girl fart and boy fart fell in love and were going to marry until they realized it was only inflatulation.

Yo mama so old she farts dust

Yo mama so pour she wears Cheerios for earrings

2 guys are in the bathroom. And one of the guys hear a small scream not very loud and asks “what’s going on over there.” And te other guy says “I’m having sex with my wife.”

A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!”

They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.

“Leave us alone you religious nuts!” yelled the first driver as he sped by.

From around the curve they heard a big splash. “Do you think,” said one clergy to the other, “we should just put up a sign that says ‘bridge out’ instead?”