Daily Joke: Jokes Library

boy:het mom did yo know that santa clause curse?

mom:no honey santa doesn’t curse!

boy: yeah ! mom he say’s “hoe hoe hoe ” all the tme!

what looks like a cat, eats like a cat but isnt a cat?

A kitten

Lisa came up behind her husband while he was drinking his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. “Ow!” Larry exclaimed. “What was that for?” “I found a piece of paper in your pants with the name ‘Mary Lou’ written on it,” she said angrily. “You better have a good explanation!” “Calm down, honey,” Larry said. “I was at the dog track last week and that was the name of the dog I bet on.” Later that same day, Lisa walked up to her husband and smacked him hard on the forehead when he walked in the door from work. “What the heck was that for?” he demanded. “Your dog just called.”

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. “Boss”, he said, “The pill actually worked!” “That’s all fine” said the boss, “But where were you yesterday?”

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only 1 hand? Because she moans with the other!