Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Here is a supposedly true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:

Proctor: I beg your pardon?

Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

Proctor: Sorry, no.

Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin):

“Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale”.

Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.

Three weeks later, after a careful perusal of the old document, the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

1st Lawyer: You’re a fool!
2nd Lawyer: You’re a damn fool!
Judge: As the lawyers have now properly identified each other, can we now proceed with the case?

Worst Air Disaster occurred today when a small two – plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland.

Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

A friend to another, “what are the names of your dogs?”

The she responded that one was named Rolex and the other Timex.

Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”

“HellOOOooo,” answered the blonde. “They’re watch dogs.”

Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are separated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers. He called the devil over and said “Look, Satan, you have to rebuild this fence.” Satan agreed. The next day God noticed that the devil had completely rebuilt the fence…but it was 2 feet further into heaven than before.

“Satan!” beckoned God. “You have to take that fence down and put it back where it belongs!”

“Yeah? What if I don’t?” replied the devil.

“I’ll sue you if I have to,” answered God.

“Sure,” laughed Satan. “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”