Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.

One boy throws his bag out the window.

Teacher: Who just threw that?

Boy: Me and I’m going home now.

Ron was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends were already married while Ron just bounced from one relationship to the next.

Finally a friend asked him, “What’s the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can’t you find anyone who suits you?”

“No,” Ron replied. “I meet a lot of nice women, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them. So I keep on looking!”

“Listen,” his friend suggested, “Why don’t you find one who’s just like your dear ol’ Mother?”

Many weeks passed before Ron and his friend crossed paths again.

“So Ron. Did you find the perfect woman yet? One that’s just like your Mother?”

Ron shrugged his shoulders, “Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became great friends.”

“Excellent!!! So… Are you and this girl engaged yet?”

“I’m afraid not,” Ron replied, “My Father can’t stand her!”

A young man was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor, when someone came by and shouted: “Laloo, your daughter Sweety is badly injured in accident!”

Not knowing what to do, the young man jumped out of his office window in a panic.

While coming down when he was at tenth floor, he remembered he had no daughter named Sweety.

When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.

When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Laloo.

A husband and wife had a fight.

Wife called her mom: He fought with me again, I am coming to stay with you.

Mom: No dear, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you!

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.”

“The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.”

“Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”