Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A state trooper is driving down the highway when he sees a truck driver pull over,
walk to the side of the truck with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck a few times, and then drive away.

A couple of miles down the road the driver does the same thing.

A few more miles, same thing.

The trooper pulls the truck over and asks the driver to explain. The driver says, “Well, the load limit is ten tons, and I’m carrying fifteen tons of parakeets, so I’ve got to keep some of them flying around.”

There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air.

The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket, which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying.

One tourist got exceedingly nervous about halfway up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed.

With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope.

The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, “Whenever it breaks.”

John, and avant-garde painter got married.

Someone asked the bride a few weeks after the wedding, “How’s married life, Helen?”

“It’s great,” she answered. “My husband paints, I cook; then we try to guess where he painted and what I cooked.”

A little boy asked his dad for a dollar to give to a little old lady in the park.

His father impressed by his son’s kindness, gave him the dollar. “There you are my son,” said the father. “But, tell me, isn’t the little lady able to work any more?

“She sells candy” was the boy’s reply.

A man named, Jean Paul, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from
an old farmer named Ben for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the
donkey the next day.

The next day, Ben drove up and said, “Sorry, but I have some bad news.
The donkey died.”

“Well, then, just give me the money back,” said Jean Paul

“Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.” Replied Ben

“OK, then. Just unload the donkey,” said Jean Paul.

“What ya going to do with him?” asked Ben.

“I’m going to raffle him off,” said Jean Paul.

“You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!” uttered Ben.

“Sure can. Watch me. I just won’t tell that he’s dead,” said Jean Paul.

A month later Ben met up with the man and asked, “What happened
with that dead donkey?”

“I raffled him off, I did. I sold 500-hunderd tickets at two dollars apiece
and made a profit of $998,” said Jean Paul.

“Didn’t anyone complain?” inquired Ben.

“Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back,” said Jean Paul.