Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.”

“The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.”

“Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”

Wife’s Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting strange.

We went to a nice restaurant for dinner. I thought he was upset by the fact that I was a bit late, but he said nothing about it. I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was something I had done. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, and again he said nothing. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m sure his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband’s Diary: Boat wouldn’t start, can’t figure it out!!

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body.

Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts!

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn’t panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it.” Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to K-Mart now?

A rancher was minding his own business when an FBI agent came up up to him and said, “We got a tip that you may be growing illegal drugs on the premises. Do you mind if I take a look around?”

The old rancher replied, “That’s fine, you shouldn’t go over there though.” As he pointed at one of his fields.

The FBI agent snapped at him, “I’m am a federal agent! I can go wherever I want!” With that he pulled out his badge and shoved it into the ranchers face.

The rancher shrugged this off and continued with his daily chores. About 15 minutes later he heard a loud scream from the field he had pointed out earlier. All of a sudden he could see the FBI agent sprinting towards him with a large bull on his heels.

The rancher rushed to the fence and yelled, “Your badge! Show your badge to the bull!”