Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A rancher was minding his own business when an FBI agent came up up to him and said, “We got a tip that you may be growing illegal drugs on the premises. Do you mind if I take a look around?”

The old rancher replied, “That’s fine, you shouldn’t go over there though.” As he pointed at one of his fields.

The FBI agent snapped at him, “I’m am a federal agent! I can go wherever I want!” With that he pulled out his badge and shoved it into the ranchers face.

The rancher shrugged this off and continued with his daily chores. About 15 minutes later he heard a loud scream from the field he had pointed out earlier. All of a sudden he could see the FBI agent sprinting towards him with a large bull on his heels.

The rancher rushed to the fence and yelled, “Your badge! Show your badge to the bull!”

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes.

He took the precious book out of the sheep’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!”

“Not really,” said the sheep. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

A company owner was asked a question, “How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?”

He smiled & replied, “It’s simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking.”

A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them…
1.Bride relatives
2.groom relatives

He entered the groom door and found two doors again.
1. Ladies
2. Men

He entered men door and found two doors again.
1.People with gifts
2.People without gifts

He entered the second door (people without gifts )… He found himself outside the hotel.

A girl came skipping to home from school one day…
Daughter : Mommy, Mommy, we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 !
Mom : Very good.
Daughter : Is it because I’m blonde ?
Mom : Yes, it’s because you’re blonde.

The next day the girl came skipping to home from school….
Daughter : Mommy, mommy, we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to G, but I said it to N. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L M, N !
Mom : Very good.
Daughter : Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy ?
Mom : Yes, it’s because you’re blonde.

The next day the girl came skipping to home from school…
Daughter : Mommy, Mommy, we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these ! (She lifted her tank top to reveal a fully developed chest ).
Mom : Very good !
Daughter : Is it because I’m blonde, mommy ?
Mom : No Honey, it’s because you’re 18 !