Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Two blonde girls walk into a department store.
They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Sharon sprays it on her wrist and smells it,
“That’s quite nice, don’t you think, Tracy”
“Yeah. What’s it called Sharon?”
“Viens a moi.”
“Viens a moi? What the does that mean?”
At this stage the store clerk offers some help.
“Viens a moi, ladies, is French for ‘come to me.'”
Sharon takes anther sniff and offers her arm to Tracy again saying, “That doesn’t smell like come to me.
Does that smell like come to you?”

A little boy said, “Grandpa, can I sit on your lap?
“Why sure you can,” his grandfather replied.
As he sat on his grandfather’s lap he said, “Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog?”
“A sound like a frog? Well, sure Grandpa can make a sound like a frog.”
The boy said, “Grandpa, will you please, please make a sound like a frog?”
Perplexed, his grandfather said, “Sweetheart, why do you want me to make a sound like a frog?”
And the little boy said, “Because Grandma said that when you croak, we’re going to Florida!”

One evening a teenage daughter and her mother were out shopping when they stopped to make a purchase.
The young girl greeted the cashier with only a “Hi,” then proceeded to dig nervously in her wallet.
She was having obvious trouble counting out the correct bills and change.
But rather than help, the cashier simply stood and watched while she fumbled and mumbled her way to the correct amount.
Finally, the transaction was completed.
As they were walking to the car, the teenager turned to her mother and said, “That was my math tutor.”

A well-dressed man arrived for an interview. The employer was very impressed with how well the gentleman presented himself. He was charming, very polite, and had an air of sophistication around him.

After reviewing the man’s resume, the interviewer said, “You have an incredible resume and present yourself so well, but before I can hire you, I have to know why you are missing five years of work experience on your resume?”

The man replied, “Well, that was when I was in Yale!”

The interviewer excitedly replied, “Wow! Amazing! You are hired!”

The man exited the office, called his friend, and said, “Dude, you’ll never believe it, but I have a yob!”

Two friends went to interview for the same job. They were both in the waiting area when the first friend got called for his interview. The second friend gave him a thumbs-up as he headed into the interview room.

The interviewer reviewed the man’s resume and then asked him a few questions. The interview was going well until the interviewer asked, “So if you are on a moving train and it was very hot, what would you do?”

The man thought about it for a second and responded, “Well, I would open the window.”

“Amazing!” exclaimed the interviewer and asked, “Let’s say the train is traveling at 100 miles per hour, and the window is 1.25 sq ft. How much air would enter your cabin in a minute?”

The man thought about the equation for a while, tried to answer it but failed. So he was rejected and returned to the waiting room and his friend in despair. He quickly told his friend about the interviewer’s question so he wouldn’t suffer the same fate.

The second friend was called into the interview room. The interviewer reviewed his resume and began with a few mundane questions before asking, “If you are a train and it was very hot, what would you do?”

“Uh, well,” the friend stumbled on the question, “I would take my jacket off, of course.”

The interviewer responded, “Well, what if it was still too hot?”

“I would take off my shirt!” exclaimed the friend.

The interview then asks again, “What if it is still too hot, even without a jacket and your shirt?”

The man then said, “I would take off all my clothes, but I would not open the window!”