Daily Joke: Jokes Library

There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park.

He was a widower and she was a widow.

They had known one another for a number of years.

Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity centre.

These two were at the same table, across from one another.

As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her,

“Will you marry me?”

After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of ‘careful consideration,’ she answered.

“Yes. Yes, I will.”

The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges and they went to their respective places.

Next morning, he was troubled. “Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?”

He couldn’t remember.

Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory.

With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.

First, he explained to her that he didn’t remember as well as he used to.

Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.

As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her,

“When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?”

He was delighted to hear her say,

“Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will’ and I meant it with all my heart.”

Then she continued,

“And I am so glad that you called because I couldn’t remember who had asked me.”

An elderly couple returned to a Mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in, to a beautiful Lady.

“I thought you said you would hold that car until we raised the $75, 000 asking price,” said the man.

“Yet I just heard you close the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady over there. You insisted there could be no discounts on this model,”

“Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and just look at her. How could I resist?” replied the grinning salesman.

Just then the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys.

“There you go,” she said.

“I told you I could get this joker to drop the price.”

“See you later, grandpa.”

Goes to show….

Never mess with the elderly!

A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided to end their union after a very short time together.

After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple went to court to finalize their break-up.

The judge asked the husband,

“What has brought you to this point, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?”

The husband said,

“In the six weeks we’ve been together, we haven’t been able to agree on one thing.”

The wife said,

“Seven weeks.

Michael was thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her.

He asked God:
“Why did you make her so kind-hearted?”

The Lord responded:
“So you could love her my son”

Next question:
“Why did you make her so good-looking?”

Reply: “So you could love her my son”

Third one: “Why did you make her such a good cook?”

Response: “So you could love her my son”

Michael thought about this for a while, and then he said:
“I don’t mean to seem ungrateful or anything. But why did you make her so stupid?”

Without hesitation came the answer:
“So she could love you, my son.

Two men at a bus stop started a conversation.

One of them keeps complaining of family problems.

Finally, the other man says,

“You think you have family problems?”

Listen to my situation..

” A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married.

Later, my dad married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter my step-mom and my dad became my stepson-in-law. Also, my wife became mom-in-law to her dad-in-law.

Then my wife’s daughter, my stepmom, had a son. This boy was my half-brother ’cause he was my dad’s son, but he was also the son of my wife’s daughter, which made him my wife’s grandson.

That made me the grandfather of my half-brother. This was nothing until my wife and I had a son.

Now, the half-sister of my son, my stepmom, is also the grandmom. My dad is the bro-in-law of my child, who is the stepbrother of my dad’s wife! “

AND YOU THINK YOU HAVE FAMILY PROBLEMS?”

The other guy fainted…