06/24/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17268
An elderly gent was invited to an old friend’s home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as
: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.
The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host,
“I think it’s wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names.”
The old man hung his head.
“I have to tell you the truth,” he said,
“Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I’m scared to death to ask her what it is!”
06/23/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17262
One day farmer joe was watering his farm a chicken came along and said
“How are you farmer joe”
The farmer said
“I’m very good, do you want to help me water my farm”
The chicken agreed and helped the farmer water his farm
The next day Farmer joe and the chicken were watering the farm.
The cow came along and said “how are you farmer joe”
The farmer Joe said “I’m good, can you help me water my farm”
The cow agreed and helped farmer joe and the chicken.
on the third-day farmer joe, the chicken and the cow were watering the farm.
A pig came along and said “how are you farmer joe”
The farmer joe said:
“I’m very happy, will you help me water my farm?”
The pig said “sure” and help farmer joe and the chicken and the cow to water the farm
on the fourth-day farmer joe, the chicken, the cow and the pig were watering the farm.
A horse came along and said
“How are you farmer joe,”
The farmer Joe said “I’m great, but can you help me water my farm”
The horse agreed and helped them all water their farm
on the fifth-day farmer joe, the chicken, the cow the pig, and the horse were watering the farm.
A dog came along and said
“How are you farmer joe,”
Thee farmer Joe said “I’m great, but can you help me water my farm”
The dog agreed and helped them all water their farm
On the sixth day the chicken, the cow, the pig the horse and the dog were watering their farm.
“oh no,” said joe I have run out of water.
“We must go to the store,” said the chicken, the cow, the pig the horse and the dog.
They were walking to the store and stopped at the road to look left right then left again but the chicken didn’t look; he just crossed.
“Why did the chicken cross the road?!” farmer Joe exclaimed.
“to get to the other side” replied the chicken.
06/22/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17259
A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says to himself with caution, “This guy looks edible, never seen his kind before.”
So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace.
The dog notices and starts to panic but as he’s about tocrun he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea.
He says loudly, “Mmm…that was delicious lion meat!”
The lion abruptly stops and says “Woah! This guy must be tougher then he looks…I better leave while I can.”
Over by the tree top, a monkey witnessed everything.
Evidently, the monkey realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion and getting something in return.
So the monkey proceeds to tell the lion what really happened and the lion says angrily, “Get on my back, we’ll go get him together.”
So they start rushing back to the dog. The dog sees them and realized what happened and starts to panic even more. He then gets another idea and shouts,
“Where the hell is that monkey?! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago!!”
06/21/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17256
A man and his wife enter a dentist’s office.
The wife says “I need a tooth pulled.
No gas or Novocain!
I’m in a terrible hurry.
Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”
“You’re a brave woman,” says the dentist.
“Now, show me which tooth it is.”
The wife turns to her husband and says:
“Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is,dear”
06/20/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17252
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human it was physically impossible.
The little girl said: “When i get to heaven i wiII ask Jonah.”
The teacher asked: “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied: “Then you ask him.”