Daily Joke: Jokes Library

After delivering a speech at an elementary school, the president lets the kids ask a few questions. One little boy, Joe raises his hand and asks, “How come you invaded Iraq without the support of the United Nations?”

Just as the president begins to answer, the recess bell rings and he says they’ll continue afterward. 25 minutes later the kids come back to class.

“Where were we?” says the president. “Oh, yes… do you kids have any questions?”

Another boy raises his hand and says, “I have three questions: First, why did you invade Iraq without support from the U.N.? Second, why did the recess bell go off 30 minutes early? And third, where is my buddy Joe?”

how can you tell .when a woman its pregnant by a black man????       A._ when she pull out her tampon and the cotton its gone

Three American blondes were lost in Vietnam(during the war),they had no water no food for days.
While walking they met Aladdin Genie,and he says:”I’ll give each one of you two wishes”

The 1st. says:”I want u to bring me one “diet cola” and to send me back to my family cuz I miss them soooo much and so she was back to the states happily.

The 2nd says “I want u to send me back to my boy friend and to give me 50$ so I can buy him a present and so she was back to the states kissing her man cheerfully.

The 3rd was like heeeeeey you think you’re smart ha. trying to send my friends away from me so I’ll be all alone, bring them back right now.

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “,Daddy, what is sex?”,

The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.

He proceeded to tell her all about the ‘birds and the bees’. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, “,Why did you ask this question?”,

The little girl replied, “Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs.”

Jon’s working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room.

The doctor says, “Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I’ll see what I can do.”

Jon says, “I haven’t got the fingers.”

The doctor says, “What do you mean, you haven’t got the fingers? It’s 2013. We’ve got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back on and made you like new. Why didn’t you bring the fingers?”

Jon says, “Well, shit, Doc, I couldn’t pick ‘em up.”